What We Do Is Secret
by marianna
Summary: An alternate end to my story 'Goodbye, Love'. What if Veronica had gotten to Dick in time? PostFinale, don't read unless you've seen it. Oneshot.


He says, "Me too." And the whole world stops. His eyes are downcast, his lip bleeding from where his teeth are gnawing on it, his hands twitching.

"Dick, do you realize what you're saying?" She whispers under her breath as she glances at him, unconsciously slipping her hand in between his to stop the shaking. He barely looks at her, but nods.

"I didn't...I didn't _know_. About Beav, I mean. I didn't-he-we never talked about it. And now…" He can't finish his sentence, and she feels him pull one of his hands away to brush away his tears. She tries to move her hand away, but his fingers are clasping tight against hers, and she can't quite bring herself to move away. "Now he's gone, and there's nothing I can do." She pats his shoulder with her free hand because she thinks he's talking about Cassidy. And then his eyes lock onto hers, and she realizes he isn't. "That bastard killed my brother, and now-" He breaks off again, a sob catching in his throat. She wants to point out that Cassidy, in fact was the one who did the killing, but has a feeling that he isn't talking so literally.

"I'm sorry, Dick. I'm so sorry." She murmurs, bending closer, so she can whisper him the words. She's never been this close to him-never _wanted_ to be this close, and she's surprised to realize that he smells nice. She shakes her head to move the traitorous thought out of her mind, and then smiles at him tightly when he finally meets her eyes again. They're damaged and bloodshot, and short of raising the dead, she doesn't know what she can do to make all of this any easier for him. "Is there something I can do?" She asks softly, cursing herself for coming here by herself, for not bringing Logan. He could probably help here, more than her. She'd had a hunch though, and the image of Dick with the gun pointed to his mouth would forever be emblazoned in her mind.

"Stay. Could you just stay?" Her jaw drops a little, but she closes it before he can notice. For once, he isn't talking sexually, and she knows she can't leave him alone in this big old house with its secrets and loneliness.

"Sure, Dick. I'll stay. Right here on the couch." He nods at her, sliding his hands from hers, and standing. He's not looking at her, almost as though he's forgotten she's there, but before he goes, he smiles. It isn't much, barely a movement on his face, but it's something.

"Thanks, Veronica."

She spends the night, sure, when she wakes, that the couch must have the imprint of her body on it by now. Sometimes, he talks to her, his blue eyes breaking right in front of hers, and others, he sits quietly there, at the edge of the couch, his shoulders shaking in pain because he can't find the words to express how much he misses his brother. This is a side of Dick she's never seen before, and she's not sure if she's happy about it or not. _Ignorance is bliss_, she thinks and her defenses are down when he kisses her late the next night, his big hand cupping her cheek, his eyes closed. It isn't hard and it isn't demanding, or anything much really. Just the melding of mouths, in the background of an old David Letterman rerun.

"Dick-I don't think you should-" She starts, but he's already pulled away from her, scrambling away as far as possible, standing clear on the other side of the room.

"Maybe you should go," Is what he says by way of explanation, and in that instant, she finds she doesn't want to. Can't fathom leaving him alone when he's like this. But she doesn't protest. She has a boyfriend who she loves more than anything, waiting for her in his hotel suite. Nothing can change that. "Could you uh…could you not tell Logan about this?" He asks quietly, when she's halfway out the door. "He would kill me." She nods, because he would-and because she hadn't been planning on telling him anyway. They've had to overcome so much and while she's certain he could forgive her anything, kissing his best friend would probably the tipping point. Even though she hadn't exactly been the one doing the kissing.

"Ah! So my wayward girlfriend finally returns from her sojourn into the dark underworld of the Casablancas mansion. Was it as unsavory as I'd told you, my sweet?" She giggles as she climbs into bed next to him, snuggling her head down into his chest. He smells like spice and baby powder all in one, and she breathes him in, never wanting to let go as she clamps her arms around his waist. "That bad, huh?" He teases, but after a second has gone by and she hasn't responded, his eyes grow serious. Somber. "He didn't try to hurt you, did he? I told you not to go over there, Mars. I told you he'd be-"

"There was a gun pointing at him when I got there, Logan." She responds, gazing away from him. She doesn't want to think about it anymore, wants to close her eyes and forget the bus crash, Cassidy, Dick…everyone except for Logan. Just wants to sink into him for a while and completely disregard the fact that the outside world exists. "And there was no one else in the room." She can feel him stiffen beneath her and grabs his hand before he can jump out of the bed. "I stopped him. He's-he _will be_ Okay." In time. And therapy. He nods, but he's not listening. Not really.

"Did he-did he say anything?" She wonders if she should tell him. If they've gotten to the point where they can talk about their best friend's secrets.

"He did Little League too." Is what she finally decides on, and he cringes as he takes in her full meaning. His face contorts in a wave of pain that she feels too, and if she looks hard enough she can the sheen of tears in his eyes. He leans into her then, and she wraps her arms around him, whispering soothing nothings into his ear as he sobs into her chest.

"What do we do?" He asks after what seems like hours. She's been staring at a crack in the ceiling, tracing the patterns around it with her eyes, trying to think of anything but this.

"We be his friends." She replies, and she can feel her lips tingling from when he'd kissed her. He nods, settling his head back down on her stomach.

"And that's it, then? You think that'll help?"

"That's it." She responds, and leans down to kiss him, erasing Dick's memory from her lips.


End file.
